“I love Mommy”

In general, I love being a special needs mom. There are so many things I GET to do that I wouldn’t have ever done otherwise, like horseback riding for example (Yup kiddos, that’s right! Without Autism, you never would have learned to ride horseback). I also have the pleasure of getting to truly SAVOR each stage of my children’s development because they rarely develop anything quickly (except for perhaps John’s new found gift for reading). In fact, oftentimes David and I get to savor a stage long enough to actually get really good at it!! :-) I have also always loved a challenge and a puzzle. Everyday, my kids take me on the ULTIMATE adventure (and yes there are plenty of screams, wet pants, and laughs along the way…)!! It stretches my endurance, creativity, energy, worldview, character, and faith in ways I didn’t know were possible. I also love being given such an AWESOME responsibility….to be the one chosen to translate the world for my children and to translate my children to the world….to be their advocate, their mother. I also just LOVE my kids…just they way they are!!!!

All that being said, there are some difficult moments that come with being a special needs mom, and one of those moments is that moment where you realize your child’s peers are moving on developmentally and your child will not be moving on with them. For me, I think one of the more difficult milestones with both of my children was when I realized that children significantly younger than them were saying “I love you.” I must have mentioned this to John’s therapists the other day because this week, they helped John make a Mother’s Day card that said, “I love Mommy. John loves Mommy.” and then had him come out and read it to me!! It was a heart melting moment! Here is a video of John reading his card to me:

After therapy, Jessica decided that she needed to make me a Mother’s Day card!

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As much as I love my cards (and especially hearing John read “I love Mommy”), Mother’s Day is really a celebration of one more way that God uses to teach us about who He is, to bring us closer to Him. I will never, no matter how hard I try, teach my children more about who God is than they have taught me. Happy Mother’s Day!

Hyperlexic Autism

Well, after a year and a half we finally have a diagnosis for John: Autism Spectrum Disorder. (Yay for insurance beginning to pay for therapy and giving us more visits!!!!!) However, this time it is not your garden variety ASD (as if there is such a thing)! John appears to fit the criteria for the unofficial category of Hyperlexia.

Children with ASD that have been identified as Hyperlexic in addition to the characteristics for ASD also have:

  • a precocious ability to read words far above what would be expected at their chronological age, or an intense fascination with letters or number
  • significant difficulty in understanding verbal language
  • abnormal social skills, difficulty socializing and interacting appropriately with people

John knew all of his letters both uppercase and lowercase by 18 months before he could even really talk! He also taught himself to read the word “zoo” before he turned 2 years old, and this was with me trying to discourage him from learning letters, etc because I didn’t want my “typically developing child” to surpass my “special needs child” too quickly!

Since I started researching Hyperlexia, I have discovered why Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) wasn’t working so well for us this time (it worked GREAT with Jess). ABA is a way of communicating through “doing” when communicating auditorily doesn’t work. A speech-language version of ABA, Verbal Behavior, often employs sign language with repetitive speech behaviors followed by consequences. John, on the other hand, does not pick up well on visual cues or auditory cues; however, we have discovered just recently that he can READ!!!! (Seriously…in one week only working 4-5 days for about 3-5 minutes a day, he has learned over 20 words and can read sentences like “Jessica and John want to go to River’s house.”) The book When Babies Read suggests that you can tap into that precocious reading ability in order to help open up the world of communication to your child.

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This is actually a pretty good book. It is very very basic (aka not really geared towards professionals) but gives a good overview of techniques to support all aspects of working with a child with Autism as well as some good ideas for the child with Hyperlexia!

We have only just started trying to tap into John’s precocious ability to read, but I have to say that I am excited and encouraged by the results we are seeing!! Today John was having a tantrum about wanting to eat and did not understand that I was trying to tell him that he could have a snack in his room during rest time. So, I sat down in the floor and wrote “John wants to eat.” and had him read it. Then I wrote “John wants to eat raisins.” and had him read that (and then pointed to the word raisins on the box because that was a new word for him). Finally, I wrote “John wants to eat raisins in John’s room.” And it was amazing!!!! He picked up his raisins and started walking to his room!!! Tantrum stopped!!! Previously I felt inept when it came to communicating with my baby boy. I thought that perhaps it was my fault, that perhaps because I communicate so well with Jessica that I have trouble communicating with a “typical child.” This week, I feel like I have been given a key to how to open up communication with my baby boy, and I am excited because I know it is something that I can do, that my failings are not the reason we haven’t been able to communicate!

Hyperlexia also explains all of the motor delays/sensory issues John has (including his feet turning in when he walks). John has trouble with knowing where his body is in space, enjoys deep pressure sensations, does NOT like being placed on surfaces, feels VERY strongly about following the “rules” (aka HIS rules), and has had quite a bit of trouble with motor skills. Jessica had very different sensory issues and was not as delayed in self-help skills. Apparently these specific types of issues are quite common in kids identified as Hyperlexic! I can’t say that any of this was really covered in my professional training, but it definitely seems to fit John and appears to be helping!!

The saying goes “If you’ve met one child with Autism, then you’ve met one child with Autism.” Now having a second child diagnosed with Autism, I can definitely vouch for the validity of that statement. While we have been down this road once already, in some ways we have not been down this road before because before we traveled this road with Jessica. Traveling this road with John is going to be very different with a completely new set of challenges, strengths, and strategies! However, one thing that I do already have from our experiences with Jessica is: Confidence. Last time I was scared to death, not because I was afraid for Jessica, but because I was afraid that I wouldn’t measure up to all of the amazing Autism moms I’d had the privilege of working with. This time around I know what it takes, and I know that because God has enabled me, I have what it takes! So…Watch out world!!!!! One Mom armed with a diagnosis is headed your way!!!!!

Dairy-free, Egg-free Tuna Salad

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My latest culinary creation is Dairy-free, Egg-free (and several other things free) Tuna Salad. It’s actually surprisingly good!

Dairy-free, Egg-free Tuna Salad

1 can of Tuna
3-4 Tablespoons of Coconut cream
2 ounces of chopped black olives
4 chopped walnuts
salt to taste

All you do is mix it all together! The coconut adds a little sweetness while the olives add a bit of a bite (I typically prefer sweet pickle relish in my tuna salad, but I react to cucumbers right now…..surprisingly the coconut and olive combo is a pretty good substitute)!

The Rest of the Story

Tonight I posted this to Facebook:

Jessica’s prayer tonight, “Dear Jesus, thank you for sending the Holy Spirit to live in my heart so that I will know what I need to do.” That kid is pretty amazing!!!! There are some things that seem very simple that she really struggles to get, but then there are other things that she “gets” years (if not decades) before most people! Pretty awesome to watch!!

But I wanted to take a moment to share how that came about. Jessica asked me to tell her the story about Jesus dying on the cross and being put into the tomb as I was tucking her into bed tonight (she has been a bit obsessed with this story since Easter) so I started telling her The Story.

“A long time ago, Jesus was having Passover with his disciples just like when we have Passover.” At this point she interjected and wanted to know what a disciple was so I explained that they were his friends, the ones who followed him. “While they were celebrating Passover, they drank the cups of juice and the pieces of matzah.” Again she interjected with “The juice is his blood, and the bread is his body.” “That’s right Jessica. Jesus told his friends that he wanted them to remember him when they drank the cup of juice and the piece of matzah because he was going away. Then Judas, one of his friends, told the religious leaders where to find Jesus, and they came and arrested him and put him on trial.” Again Jessica interjected “Why did they do that?” “It wasn’t very nice was it? They made a bad choice didn’t they? They judged Jesus to be guilty and put him on a cross and killed him. Then they put him in a tomb.” Again Jessica interjected “That’s Easter!” “Yes, Jessica, Jesus rose from the dead on Easter Sunday, and then he went and spent time with lots of friends until it was time for him to go to Heaven to be with God. But, he told his friends that he was sending them a special gift on Shavout (Pentacost) so they wouldn’t be alone.” Again Jessica interjected “On Shavout?! What was it (the gift)?!” “Well, they waited in a room, and it got very windy and little pieces of fire appeared on their heads. It was the Holy Spirit coming to live in their hearts so they would know what to do.” Again Jessica interjected “Does the Holy Spirit live in my heart too?” “Yes, Jessica.” At this moment Jessica prayed “Dear Jesus, thank you for sending the Holy Spirit to live in my heart so that I will know what I need to do.”

What I love the most about this moment with Jessica is how 1) She grasped the important part of The Story and 2) How she understands that you can always drop everything to thank God for anything and everything (she often thanks God for inanimate objects like her ‘Jessica doll,’ houses, clothes, towels, etc).

I also love how celebrating Jewish holidays in our home has helped Jessica to learn about the Bible. We spent years trying all kinds of different ways of teaching Jessica about who God is, and I finally had an epiphany “God used holidays to teach the Israelites about who He was after several hundred years of slavery….if it could work for them, perhaps it could work for Jessica.” I am constantly amazed at how effective it has been at teaching Jessica about who God is! With all of the technology, visual aids, and manipulatives we have these days, it is the Jewish holiday calendar that has been around for thousands of years that finally reached my little girl and taught her who God is! Sometimes we think we are so smart and so evolved, but when we humble ourselves before the throne of God, we realize just how perfect His plan really is!

As Paul Harvey would say, “And now you know the rest of the story.”

What Smokey and the Bandit knew about Autism Parents

Ok, so maybe they were thinking about beer instead of fighting for your child with Autism, but I think it still fits….or maybe that means that Autism Parents need a few extra drinks….not sure which….you can interpret it however you like! :-)

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
a’we gonna do what they say can’t be done
(There is no such thing as impossible where Autism is concerned!)
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there
I’m east bound just watch ol’Bandit run
(You don’t have any time to spare when working with a child on the Spectrum)
Keep your foot hard on the peddle…son, never mind those brakes
let it all hang out cause we’ve got a run to make
(Don’t let “brakes” or “social conventions” keep you from what you’ve gotta do)
The boys are thirsty in Atlanta,and there’s beer in Texarkana
and we’ll bring it back no matter what it takes
(It doesn’t matter what it takes where your child is concerned)
East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
a’we gonna do what they say can’t be done
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there
I’m east bound just watch ol’Bandit run ……

Just gotta love some Jerry Reed!!! …wonder if he is related to my Reed relatives…..that might explain a few things…. ;-)

A Little Discouraged

This week we got the results back from John’s MRI and genetic testing, and they were all normal, which is GREAT news! However, I am getting a little discouraged. We have been paying out of pocket for speech therapy for over a year now (that’s over $3,000 in case you are curious). We have been paying out of pocket for occupational therapy and physical therapy for 6 months (again probably another $3,000….and that doesn’t count the almost $1,000 in orthodics), and I’m not even going to attempt to list all of the expenses required in trying to figure out WHY he needs to be in therapy!!!!!! The frustrating part is that everyone says “Keep him in therapy. There is definitely a problem.” but no one wants to give us a name to call it so that insurance will start covering it!!!!!!! We had to go with a high deductible insurance plan because insurance wasn’t covering anything and at least this way we will meet our deductible (we just did….after I had to audit the insurance company because somebody over there can’t add correctly….). Now we are going through an Autism evaluation with him and will do the ADOS in about a week. However, although I do believe he probably fits very well into the description of Hyperlexia (a term used to described children with Autism that are obsessed with letters/numbers among other things), I am not sure that it isn’t going to be another dead end because I have worked so hard with him and he has responded well to treatment (although obviously we still have a lot of work to do or we wouldn’t still be in therapy).

It’s not that I want John to have a diagnosis; I’ve worked HARD to make sure that does not become something that defines him. However, I WISH that insurance would cover therapies if there is a delay regardless of diagnosis. I WISH Early Steps would have taken a closer look before he was almost too old to qualify. I WISH some professionals wouldn’t go “Not my area….move along.” I have worked VERY HARD the last year or so…..searching for what is going on with my boy (especially the Celiac…everyone thought I was crazy till we finally got that test results back and saw the difference….and by the way that cost us over $7,000), therapies, therapy homework, cooking every single thing my kids and I eat from scratch, etc, etc, etc. I keep telling myself “Just keep swimming (or in our case treading water) just a little bit longer….we’re at the end of the race….not much father.” but I have to admit, I am beginning to get a little discouraged. Hoping after some time to recover this weekend, I’ll be ready to attack it again next week.

How a Behavioral School Psychologist Became a Bio-Medical Autism Mom

Before my children were born, I used to have people ask me what I thought of the GFCF diet for children with Autism. I always told them that Autism was a neurological difference that had nothing to do with diet and that if symptoms were affected by diet, then it was never Autism to begin with and more likely some type of allergy or food sensitivity. However, in the last year I have completely changed my mind on this and would like to take a moment to sit down and explain why.

Autism is a psychological diagnosis. The purpose of psychological diagnoses is not to uncover the cause (although there are some psychologists that do study brain scans, etc) but to group people by similar symptoms so that we can quickly identify treatment methods that may improve their quality of life. Because of research in Psychology and related fields, we now know that speech therapy (specifically approaches like Verbal Behavior), Occupational Therapy (specifically the development of a good sensory diet), and Applied Behavior Analysis (including a host of different protocols based on ABA theory) can make a huge difference in the ability of children (and later adults) on the spectrum to function in daily life! However, because Autism is a psychological diagnosis, there could be many different underlying causes for Autism. For example, let’s say you have a broken leg. Why do you have your broken leg? Perhaps you broke your leg falling off of a ladder. Does that mean everyone with a broken leg broke their leg falling off a ladder? No, perhaps some people were in an explosion, perhaps others have a genetic disorder that causes their bones to fracture easily, perhaps still others developed stress fractures while running. Will the same treatment methods be effective? In general, yes, but some people may require surgery, others may require just a boot, still others might require a plaster cast, and some may even loose their leg. The same if true for Autism. The symptoms are similar across people and treatment options fit into the same general category. However, what caused/triggered the Autism symptoms may vary greatly!

I used to believe that Autism was simply a neurological difference inborn into people. While I still think that is a possibility, I also know that not all neurological differences are caused by the same thing. Sometimes neurological differences are genetic, sometimes they are due to a genetic mutation, and still sometimes they are due to some kind of environmental factor presented either prenatally or postnatally. Medical science is at a point that we can now identify many genetic differences/mutations. However, there are endless environmental factors to evaluate, and it is definitely more difficult to look back and try to figure out what may have triggered a neurological difference. For example, are you certain the behavioral symptoms occurred at the same time the neurological differences developed? Are you certain that the particular environmental factor had an immediate effect? Are you certain that you noticed behavioral symptoms as soon as the difference occurred or is it possible that the symptoms weren’t quite as noticeable initially because of the developmental stage or personality of the child? Does the child have a patient history of brain scans to indicate the point at which neurological differences developed? You can see how this area of research could be quite tricky! So what was it that converted me from being a Behavioral School Psychologist to a Bio-Medical Autism Mom? It was my children.

Jessica started life out with some pretty classic Autism symptoms: going on a nap strike at 2 months old and only sleeping maybe 9 hours every 24 hours, sensory issues relating to early sleep issues, being very difficult to get pictures of her looking at the camera, delayed babbling, first and only word for a long time was “thank you,” no pointing until 3+ years old, unable to hold interest/play with toys “correctly,” over developed interest in “feces painting,” stimming by 18 months, etc, etc, etc. Jessica benefited from having ABA from the very beginning because that had become the way I related to children. She also started speech therapy and occupational therapy by 2.5 years old. I was in a bit of denial and chose to delay getting a diagnosis until 3.5 years old. She was assessed by a multidisciplinary team. Most of the assessments had been done already by her therapists, but the IQ test (she had a 60 point span between tests) and the ADOS test both indicated that she was most definitely on the Autism Spectrum. We saw no need at the time to see a neurologist because there were no other symptoms that might indicate any other type of neurological issue (such as hearing loss, vision problems, seizures, motor planning issues, etc). She did have a particularly large head (90% as opposed to the rest of her body 25%) which has been noted in many children on the Autism Spectrum. Several studies actually indicate that the larger head size in these cases is due to brain inflammation. However, we saw no reason to allocate money away from therapy for further testing that would likely not contribute to improved symptoms in her case.

We continued with Speech therapy, Occupational Therapy, home ABA therapy, and added in Physical therapy and a variety of activities to target social/motor delays. I soon realized that my ADHD/APD diagnosis should have been an Autism Spectrum Disorder because Jessica could almost be my clone. This was particularly helpful when working with her because I have always understood her. She continued to improve with our multidisciplinary approach, but it was still difficult to maintain the right balance of sensory input. However, in January of 2012 (just last year), Jessica was using the potty, and I saw some orange oil that was not dispersing into the rest of the water. I took her off the potty and realized that she was swollen and had the orange oil all over her female parts. I had been watching her like a hawk all night so I knew she hadn’t gotten into anything or stuck anything down there! It was evening (of course), so I cleaned her up as best I could and took her to the doctor the next morning. The doctor did an exam and ran a urine analysis but didn’t find anything and said to bring her back if it happened again. In some ways it reminded me of some yeast infection symptoms I’d had several years before so I decided to put her on the Yeast Connection Diet for a few days just in case she was hurting. Within 24 hours of removing all lactose, fructose, sucrose, and most starches, Jessica stopped rocking!!! Several days later we went to Chickafila and ordered her grilled nuggets with fries and water (no ketchup). Within 2 hours she was rocking again. Turns out the chicken and the fries both had sugar in them. Within 24 hours of being back on the diet, Jessica stopped rocking again.

At this point I realized there had to be some sort of connection in regard to at least some of Jessica’s Autism symptoms and diet. Since I couldn’t get our pediatrician to listen to my concerns, I took her to a DAN doctor who did something that no other doctor had ever done: a blood test, a spit test, and a stool test. Aside: When working with children who have challenges with communication and sensory processing, internal tests should be the FIRST thing doctors do! How can you expect to be able to tell if your child isn’t feeling well if they can’t communicate clearly and they don’t necessarily feel it the same way other people do?!?! When the tests came back, we discovered that quite a few things were “off” but most disturbingly, Jessica had 0 lactobacillus in her stool. This could cause her system to be overrun with yeast. Incidentally, I had heard from many parents of girls on the Autism spectrum that many of their girls had trouble with recurrent yeast infections. Previously I had chalked it up to the typical favorite diet of children on the spectrum: refined sugars, flours, and dairy. However, I had worked with Jessica on feeding issues since her first spoonful of puree, and she was a very good eater.

Eventually we ended up seeing an immunologist because John was breaking out in hives around his mouth anytime he at eggs and he had recently had large knots develop on his legs where he had received vaccines (I had wondered if it might be an egg allergy). The immunologist figured out pretty quickly that all 3 of us had Celiac Disease. Although we had been tested multiple times using a blood test and my brother had even had an endoscopy, our tests always came back negative until we did a stool test for Anti-Gliadin. Unfortunately, even after going completely gluten free, my symptoms (severe arthritis) had not subsided, so I asked the immunologist if we could do a more sensitive food allergy test, and he recommended an IgE/IgG blood test for a panel of foods. I decided to go ahead and do it on the kids too just to make sure they weren’t also having problems and just unable to communicate how they felt. I am VERY glad that I did because as it turns out we all had at least some type of reaction to about 120 food out of 150, and since I am older and able to communicate how my reactions make me feel, we were able to determine that I could feel reactions that were only a .01 reaction (for example sesame seeds were a .01 reaction and eating them made my hands tingle and go numb)! As I said earlier, we already know that people on the Autism spectrum often experience sensory input differently from other people….so why not experience food reactions differently as well?!?

As it turned out, the gene I passed on to my kids that gave us all Celiac was passed down to me by my mother. My dad has the other Celiac gene, and almost all of my siblings and I have at least one of the genes. My brother has both genes and lost his gall bladder before we figured out that he had Celiac. My mother likely got it from her mother who died at 55 of heart disease….inflammation of the heart…..inflammation is the body’s way of saying “I am not happy!” I have since read many other stories of people with Celiac who have experienced inflammation in many different parts of their bodies….just a few I have heard of include: joints, heart, intestines, larynx, lungs, gall bladder, and A LOT more! Many with Celiac have also reported that their depression or anxiety was relieved once they finally went gluten free.

Because of how many food sensitivities we had developed and how much damage Jessica specifically had to her digestive tract (although John had a distended tummy, very fine anorexic looking hair, and was very lethargic), we quickly realized that modern medicine was unlikely to be much help because modern medicine focuses on group design and what works for the majority of people. We were clearly NOT the majority of people!!! We ended up seeing a Holistic Nutritionist who uses a technique called Nutritional Response Testing (NRT). I have to admit that out of all the things I have ended up doing because of our journey with Autism and food issues, NRT was probably the thing I was the MOST skeptical about (I have always been a modern medicine type of girl); however, over the last several months, I have seen my arthritis disappear after 3 years of excruciating pain, I have seen John stop needing naps, become more energetic, start growing again, grow thicker curlier hair, and some of his delays improve, I have seen Jessica mostly leave stimming behind and communicate/interact in social situations with minimal to no assistance! And we are not done yet!!!

Conclusions: I believe that at least in some cases, Autism may be the result of a child with undiagnosed Celiac who may even be experiencing inflammation of the brain. Do I think it is “simple Celiac” or “simply a food allergy?” No. Unfortunately, when you are talking about the development of a child, it is kind of like opening a Pandora’s box. You cannot go back and change the experiences of the child during critical periods of brain development, but you can do your best to provide the optimal environment to heal any internal damage and help that child develop the tools necessary for living that he or she may have missed.

If you are interested in further information, check out:

The Autism Revolution – An up to date and positive overview of what you can do to help your child
Healing and Preventing Autism – A parent-friendly guide to the biomedical approach to treating Autism.
Healing the New Childhood Epidemics – A scientific explanation of the biomedical approach to treating Autism geared for interested parents.
Changing the Course of Autism – A very scientific explanation of the biomedical approach to treating Autism geared for medical professionals.
Talk About Curing Autism Now – Autism website that also has a lot of great information on food testing, recipes, substitutions, etc.
Enterolab – The company we used to test our stool for anti-gliadin.
Allermetrix – The company we used for IgE/IgG food testing.
ALCAT – Another company that does IgE/IgG food testing.