Tag Archives: Autism

“I love Mommy”

In general, I love being a special needs mom. There are so many things I GET to do that I wouldn’t have ever done otherwise, like horseback riding for example (Yup kiddos, that’s right! Without Autism, you never would have learned to ride horseback). I also have the pleasure of getting to truly SAVOR each stage of my children’s development because they rarely develop anything quickly (except for perhaps John’s new found gift for reading). In fact, oftentimes David and I get to savor a stage long enough to actually get really good at it!! :-) I have also always loved a challenge and a puzzle. Everyday, my kids take me on the ULTIMATE adventure (and yes there are plenty of screams, wet pants, and laughs along the way…)!! It stretches my endurance, creativity, energy, worldview, character, and faith in ways I didn’t know were possible. I also love being given such an AWESOME responsibility….to be the one chosen to translate the world for my children and to translate my children to the world….to be their advocate, their mother. I also just LOVE my kids…just they way they are!!!!

All that being said, there are some difficult moments that come with being a special needs mom, and one of those moments is that moment where you realize your child’s peers are moving on developmentally and your child will not be moving on with them. For me, I think one of the more difficult milestones with both of my children was when I realized that children significantly younger than them were saying “I love you.” I must have mentioned this to John’s therapists the other day because this week, they helped John make a Mother’s Day card that said, “I love Mommy. John loves Mommy.” and then had him come out and read it to me!! It was a heart melting moment! Here is a video of John reading his card to me:

After therapy, Jessica decided that she needed to make me a Mother’s Day card!

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As much as I love my cards (and especially hearing John read “I love Mommy”), Mother’s Day is really a celebration of one more way that God uses to teach us about who He is, to bring us closer to Him. I will never, no matter how hard I try, teach my children more about who God is than they have taught me. Happy Mother’s Day!

Hyperlexic Autism

Well, after a year and a half we finally have a diagnosis for John: Autism Spectrum Disorder. (Yay for insurance beginning to pay for therapy and giving us more visits!!!!!) However, this time it is not your garden variety ASD (as if there is such a thing)! John appears to fit the criteria for the unofficial category of Hyperlexia.

Children with ASD that have been identified as Hyperlexic in addition to the characteristics for ASD also have:

  • a precocious ability to read words far above what would be expected at their chronological age, or an intense fascination with letters or number
  • significant difficulty in understanding verbal language
  • abnormal social skills, difficulty socializing and interacting appropriately with people

John knew all of his letters both uppercase and lowercase by 18 months before he could even really talk! He also taught himself to read the word “zoo” before he turned 2 years old, and this was with me trying to discourage him from learning letters, etc because I didn’t want my “typically developing child” to surpass my “special needs child” too quickly!

Since I started researching Hyperlexia, I have discovered why Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) wasn’t working so well for us this time (it worked GREAT with Jess). ABA is a way of communicating through “doing” when communicating auditorily doesn’t work. A speech-language version of ABA, Verbal Behavior, often employs sign language with repetitive speech behaviors followed by consequences. John, on the other hand, does not pick up well on visual cues or auditory cues; however, we have discovered just recently that he can READ!!!! (Seriously…in one week only working 4-5 days for about 3-5 minutes a day, he has learned over 20 words and can read sentences like “Jessica and John want to go to River’s house.”) The book When Babies Read suggests that you can tap into that precocious reading ability in order to help open up the world of communication to your child.

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This is actually a pretty good book. It is very very basic (aka not really geared towards professionals) but gives a good overview of techniques to support all aspects of working with a child with Autism as well as some good ideas for the child with Hyperlexia!

We have only just started trying to tap into John’s precocious ability to read, but I have to say that I am excited and encouraged by the results we are seeing!! Today John was having a tantrum about wanting to eat and did not understand that I was trying to tell him that he could have a snack in his room during rest time. So, I sat down in the floor and wrote “John wants to eat.” and had him read it. Then I wrote “John wants to eat raisins.” and had him read that (and then pointed to the word raisins on the box because that was a new word for him). Finally, I wrote “John wants to eat raisins in John’s room.” And it was amazing!!!! He picked up his raisins and started walking to his room!!! Tantrum stopped!!! Previously I felt inept when it came to communicating with my baby boy. I thought that perhaps it was my fault, that perhaps because I communicate so well with Jessica that I have trouble communicating with a “typical child.” This week, I feel like I have been given a key to how to open up communication with my baby boy, and I am excited because I know it is something that I can do, that my failings are not the reason we haven’t been able to communicate!

Hyperlexia also explains all of the motor delays/sensory issues John has (including his feet turning in when he walks). John has trouble with knowing where his body is in space, enjoys deep pressure sensations, does NOT like being placed on surfaces, feels VERY strongly about following the “rules” (aka HIS rules), and has had quite a bit of trouble with motor skills. Jessica had very different sensory issues and was not as delayed in self-help skills. Apparently these specific types of issues are quite common in kids identified as Hyperlexic! I can’t say that any of this was really covered in my professional training, but it definitely seems to fit John and appears to be helping!!

The saying goes “If you’ve met one child with Autism, then you’ve met one child with Autism.” Now having a second child diagnosed with Autism, I can definitely vouch for the validity of that statement. While we have been down this road once already, in some ways we have not been down this road before because before we traveled this road with Jessica. Traveling this road with John is going to be very different with a completely new set of challenges, strengths, and strategies! However, one thing that I do already have from our experiences with Jessica is: Confidence. Last time I was scared to death, not because I was afraid for Jessica, but because I was afraid that I wouldn’t measure up to all of the amazing Autism moms I’d had the privilege of working with. This time around I know what it takes, and I know that because God has enabled me, I have what it takes! So…Watch out world!!!!! One Mom armed with a diagnosis is headed your way!!!!!

Dairy-free, Egg-free Tuna Salad

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My latest culinary creation is Dairy-free, Egg-free (and several other things free) Tuna Salad. It’s actually surprisingly good!

Dairy-free, Egg-free Tuna Salad

1 can of Tuna
3-4 Tablespoons of Coconut cream
2 ounces of chopped black olives
4 chopped walnuts
salt to taste

All you do is mix it all together! The coconut adds a little sweetness while the olives add a bit of a bite (I typically prefer sweet pickle relish in my tuna salad, but I react to cucumbers right now…..surprisingly the coconut and olive combo is a pretty good substitute)!

The Rest of the Story

Tonight I posted this to Facebook:

Jessica’s prayer tonight, “Dear Jesus, thank you for sending the Holy Spirit to live in my heart so that I will know what I need to do.” That kid is pretty amazing!!!! There are some things that seem very simple that she really struggles to get, but then there are other things that she “gets” years (if not decades) before most people! Pretty awesome to watch!!

But I wanted to take a moment to share how that came about. Jessica asked me to tell her the story about Jesus dying on the cross and being put into the tomb as I was tucking her into bed tonight (she has been a bit obsessed with this story since Easter) so I started telling her The Story.

“A long time ago, Jesus was having Passover with his disciples just like when we have Passover.” At this point she interjected and wanted to know what a disciple was so I explained that they were his friends, the ones who followed him. “While they were celebrating Passover, they drank the cups of juice and the pieces of matzah.” Again she interjected with “The juice is his blood, and the bread is his body.” “That’s right Jessica. Jesus told his friends that he wanted them to remember him when they drank the cup of juice and the piece of matzah because he was going away. Then Judas, one of his friends, told the religious leaders where to find Jesus, and they came and arrested him and put him on trial.” Again Jessica interjected “Why did they do that?” “It wasn’t very nice was it? They made a bad choice didn’t they? They judged Jesus to be guilty and put him on a cross and killed him. Then they put him in a tomb.” Again Jessica interjected “That’s Easter!” “Yes, Jessica, Jesus rose from the dead on Easter Sunday, and then he went and spent time with lots of friends until it was time for him to go to Heaven to be with God. But, he told his friends that he was sending them a special gift on Shavout (Pentacost) so they wouldn’t be alone.” Again Jessica interjected “On Shavout?! What was it (the gift)?!” “Well, they waited in a room, and it got very windy and little pieces of fire appeared on their heads. It was the Holy Spirit coming to live in their hearts so they would know what to do.” Again Jessica interjected “Does the Holy Spirit live in my heart too?” “Yes, Jessica.” At this moment Jessica prayed “Dear Jesus, thank you for sending the Holy Spirit to live in my heart so that I will know what I need to do.”

What I love the most about this moment with Jessica is how 1) She grasped the important part of The Story and 2) How she understands that you can always drop everything to thank God for anything and everything (she often thanks God for inanimate objects like her ‘Jessica doll,’ houses, clothes, towels, etc).

I also love how celebrating Jewish holidays in our home has helped Jessica to learn about the Bible. We spent years trying all kinds of different ways of teaching Jessica about who God is, and I finally had an epiphany “God used holidays to teach the Israelites about who He was after several hundred years of slavery….if it could work for them, perhaps it could work for Jessica.” I am constantly amazed at how effective it has been at teaching Jessica about who God is! With all of the technology, visual aids, and manipulatives we have these days, it is the Jewish holiday calendar that has been around for thousands of years that finally reached my little girl and taught her who God is! Sometimes we think we are so smart and so evolved, but when we humble ourselves before the throne of God, we realize just how perfect His plan really is!

As Paul Harvey would say, “And now you know the rest of the story.”

What Smokey and the Bandit knew about Autism Parents

Ok, so maybe they were thinking about beer instead of fighting for your child with Autism, but I think it still fits….or maybe that means that Autism Parents need a few extra drinks….not sure which….you can interpret it however you like! :-)

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
a’we gonna do what they say can’t be done
(There is no such thing as impossible where Autism is concerned!)
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there
I’m east bound just watch ol’Bandit run
(You don’t have any time to spare when working with a child on the Spectrum)
Keep your foot hard on the peddle…son, never mind those brakes
let it all hang out cause we’ve got a run to make
(Don’t let “brakes” or “social conventions” keep you from what you’ve gotta do)
The boys are thirsty in Atlanta,and there’s beer in Texarkana
and we’ll bring it back no matter what it takes
(It doesn’t matter what it takes where your child is concerned)
East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’
a’we gonna do what they say can’t be done
We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there
I’m east bound just watch ol’Bandit run ……

Just gotta love some Jerry Reed!!! …wonder if he is related to my Reed relatives…..that might explain a few things…. ;-)

How a Behavioral School Psychologist Became a Bio-Medical Autism Mom

Before my children were born, I used to have people ask me what I thought of the GFCF diet for children with Autism. I always told them that Autism was a neurological difference that had nothing to do with diet and that if symptoms were affected by diet, then it was never Autism to begin with and more likely some type of allergy or food sensitivity. However, in the last year I have completely changed my mind on this and would like to take a moment to sit down and explain why.

Autism is a psychological diagnosis. The purpose of psychological diagnoses is not to uncover the cause (although there are some psychologists that do study brain scans, etc) but to group people by similar symptoms so that we can quickly identify treatment methods that may improve their quality of life. Because of research in Psychology and related fields, we now know that speech therapy (specifically approaches like Verbal Behavior), Occupational Therapy (specifically the development of a good sensory diet), and Applied Behavior Analysis (including a host of different protocols based on ABA theory) can make a huge difference in the ability of children (and later adults) on the spectrum to function in daily life! However, because Autism is a psychological diagnosis, there could be many different underlying causes for Autism. For example, let’s say you have a broken leg. Why do you have your broken leg? Perhaps you broke your leg falling off of a ladder. Does that mean everyone with a broken leg broke their leg falling off a ladder? No, perhaps some people were in an explosion, perhaps others have a genetic disorder that causes their bones to fracture easily, perhaps still others developed stress fractures while running. Will the same treatment methods be effective? In general, yes, but some people may require surgery, others may require just a boot, still others might require a plaster cast, and some may even loose their leg. The same if true for Autism. The symptoms are similar across people and treatment options fit into the same general category. However, what caused/triggered the Autism symptoms may vary greatly!

I used to believe that Autism was simply a neurological difference inborn into people. While I still think that is a possibility, I also know that not all neurological differences are caused by the same thing. Sometimes neurological differences are genetic, sometimes they are due to a genetic mutation, and still sometimes they are due to some kind of environmental factor presented either prenatally or postnatally. Medical science is at a point that we can now identify many genetic differences/mutations. However, there are endless environmental factors to evaluate, and it is definitely more difficult to look back and try to figure out what may have triggered a neurological difference. For example, are you certain the behavioral symptoms occurred at the same time the neurological differences developed? Are you certain that the particular environmental factor had an immediate effect? Are you certain that you noticed behavioral symptoms as soon as the difference occurred or is it possible that the symptoms weren’t quite as noticeable initially because of the developmental stage or personality of the child? Does the child have a patient history of brain scans to indicate the point at which neurological differences developed? You can see how this area of research could be quite tricky! So what was it that converted me from being a Behavioral School Psychologist to a Bio-Medical Autism Mom? It was my children.

Jessica started life out with some pretty classic Autism symptoms: going on a nap strike at 2 months old and only sleeping maybe 9 hours every 24 hours, sensory issues relating to early sleep issues, being very difficult to get pictures of her looking at the camera, delayed babbling, first and only word for a long time was “thank you,” no pointing until 3+ years old, unable to hold interest/play with toys “correctly,” over developed interest in “feces painting,” stimming by 18 months, etc, etc, etc. Jessica benefited from having ABA from the very beginning because that had become the way I related to children. She also started speech therapy and occupational therapy by 2.5 years old. I was in a bit of denial and chose to delay getting a diagnosis until 3.5 years old. She was assessed by a multidisciplinary team. Most of the assessments had been done already by her therapists, but the IQ test (she had a 60 point span between tests) and the ADOS test both indicated that she was most definitely on the Autism Spectrum. We saw no need at the time to see a neurologist because there were no other symptoms that might indicate any other type of neurological issue (such as hearing loss, vision problems, seizures, motor planning issues, etc). She did have a particularly large head (90% as opposed to the rest of her body 25%) which has been noted in many children on the Autism Spectrum. Several studies actually indicate that the larger head size in these cases is due to brain inflammation. However, we saw no reason to allocate money away from therapy for further testing that would likely not contribute to improved symptoms in her case.

We continued with Speech therapy, Occupational Therapy, home ABA therapy, and added in Physical therapy and a variety of activities to target social/motor delays. I soon realized that my ADHD/APD diagnosis should have been an Autism Spectrum Disorder because Jessica could almost be my clone. This was particularly helpful when working with her because I have always understood her. She continued to improve with our multidisciplinary approach, but it was still difficult to maintain the right balance of sensory input. However, in January of 2012 (just last year), Jessica was using the potty, and I saw some orange oil that was not dispersing into the rest of the water. I took her off the potty and realized that she was swollen and had the orange oil all over her female parts. I had been watching her like a hawk all night so I knew she hadn’t gotten into anything or stuck anything down there! It was evening (of course), so I cleaned her up as best I could and took her to the doctor the next morning. The doctor did an exam and ran a urine analysis but didn’t find anything and said to bring her back if it happened again. In some ways it reminded me of some yeast infection symptoms I’d had several years before so I decided to put her on the Yeast Connection Diet for a few days just in case she was hurting. Within 24 hours of removing all lactose, fructose, sucrose, and most starches, Jessica stopped rocking!!! Several days later we went to Chickafila and ordered her grilled nuggets with fries and water (no ketchup). Within 2 hours she was rocking again. Turns out the chicken and the fries both had sugar in them. Within 24 hours of being back on the diet, Jessica stopped rocking again.

At this point I realized there had to be some sort of connection in regard to at least some of Jessica’s Autism symptoms and diet. Since I couldn’t get our pediatrician to listen to my concerns, I took her to a DAN doctor who did something that no other doctor had ever done: a blood test, a spit test, and a stool test. Aside: When working with children who have challenges with communication and sensory processing, internal tests should be the FIRST thing doctors do! How can you expect to be able to tell if your child isn’t feeling well if they can’t communicate clearly and they don’t necessarily feel it the same way other people do?!?! When the tests came back, we discovered that quite a few things were “off” but most disturbingly, Jessica had 0 lactobacillus in her stool. This could cause her system to be overrun with yeast. Incidentally, I had heard from many parents of girls on the Autism spectrum that many of their girls had trouble with recurrent yeast infections. Previously I had chalked it up to the typical favorite diet of children on the spectrum: refined sugars, flours, and dairy. However, I had worked with Jessica on feeding issues since her first spoonful of puree, and she was a very good eater.

Eventually we ended up seeing an immunologist because John was breaking out in hives around his mouth anytime he at eggs and he had recently had large knots develop on his legs where he had received vaccines (I had wondered if it might be an egg allergy). The immunologist figured out pretty quickly that all 3 of us had Celiac Disease. Although we had been tested multiple times using a blood test and my brother had even had an endoscopy, our tests always came back negative until we did a stool test for Anti-Gliadin. Unfortunately, even after going completely gluten free, my symptoms (severe arthritis) had not subsided, so I asked the immunologist if we could do a more sensitive food allergy test, and he recommended an IgE/IgG blood test for a panel of foods. I decided to go ahead and do it on the kids too just to make sure they weren’t also having problems and just unable to communicate how they felt. I am VERY glad that I did because as it turns out we all had at least some type of reaction to about 120 food out of 150, and since I am older and able to communicate how my reactions make me feel, we were able to determine that I could feel reactions that were only a .01 reaction (for example sesame seeds were a .01 reaction and eating them made my hands tingle and go numb)! As I said earlier, we already know that people on the Autism spectrum often experience sensory input differently from other people….so why not experience food reactions differently as well?!?

As it turned out, the gene I passed on to my kids that gave us all Celiac was passed down to me by my mother. My dad has the other Celiac gene, and almost all of my siblings and I have at least one of the genes. My brother has both genes and lost his gall bladder before we figured out that he had Celiac. My mother likely got it from her mother who died at 55 of heart disease….inflammation of the heart…..inflammation is the body’s way of saying “I am not happy!” I have since read many other stories of people with Celiac who have experienced inflammation in many different parts of their bodies….just a few I have heard of include: joints, heart, intestines, larynx, lungs, gall bladder, and A LOT more! Many with Celiac have also reported that their depression or anxiety was relieved once they finally went gluten free.

Because of how many food sensitivities we had developed and how much damage Jessica specifically had to her digestive tract (although John had a distended tummy, very fine anorexic looking hair, and was very lethargic), we quickly realized that modern medicine was unlikely to be much help because modern medicine focuses on group design and what works for the majority of people. We were clearly NOT the majority of people!!! We ended up seeing a Holistic Nutritionist who uses a technique called Nutritional Response Testing (NRT). I have to admit that out of all the things I have ended up doing because of our journey with Autism and food issues, NRT was probably the thing I was the MOST skeptical about (I have always been a modern medicine type of girl); however, over the last several months, I have seen my arthritis disappear after 3 years of excruciating pain, I have seen John stop needing naps, become more energetic, start growing again, grow thicker curlier hair, and some of his delays improve, I have seen Jessica mostly leave stimming behind and communicate/interact in social situations with minimal to no assistance! And we are not done yet!!!

Conclusions: I believe that at least in some cases, Autism may be the result of a child with undiagnosed Celiac who may even be experiencing inflammation of the brain. Do I think it is “simple Celiac” or “simply a food allergy?” No. Unfortunately, when you are talking about the development of a child, it is kind of like opening a Pandora’s box. You cannot go back and change the experiences of the child during critical periods of brain development, but you can do your best to provide the optimal environment to heal any internal damage and help that child develop the tools necessary for living that he or she may have missed.

If you are interested in further information, check out:

The Autism Revolution – An up to date and positive overview of what you can do to help your child
Healing and Preventing Autism – A parent-friendly guide to the biomedical approach to treating Autism.
Healing the New Childhood Epidemics – A scientific explanation of the biomedical approach to treating Autism geared for interested parents.
Changing the Course of Autism – A very scientific explanation of the biomedical approach to treating Autism geared for medical professionals.
Talk About Curing Autism Now – Autism website that also has a lot of great information on food testing, recipes, substitutions, etc.
Enterolab – The company we used to test our stool for anti-gliadin.
Allermetrix – The company we used for IgE/IgG food testing.
ALCAT – Another company that does IgE/IgG food testing.

Ice Cream: Dairy-free, Seed/Nut-free, Banana-free, Egg-free, Soy-free,…

I am very proud of my latest culinary accomplishment! Jessica’s class at homeschool co-op was making ice cream today and eating it, but since Jessica can’t have dairy, coconut, bananas, mangos, cocoa, most nuts, rice, soy, eggs, etc, etc, etc… I couldn’t use any of the vegan recipes that often depend heavily on bananas, coconut, and soy! What to do?!?! I could have done a popsicle, but I like a challenge so I decided to experiment!

icecream

It ended up turning out GREAT! Jessica, my husband, and my mom all said the texture was spot on and had a pretty good flavor! You do really need a Vitamix or a food processor to make this recipe work…

Strawberry “Ice Cream”

10 Strawberries
3 Prunes
A dollop of Maple Syrup (or honey)
1 cup Walnut milk (or Rice milk/other favorite nut milk)
1/4 cup of Safflower oil

Blend ingredients together until smooth and emulsified (aka blended oil will thicken slightly). Pour into an ice cube tray and freeze. Once the cubes are frozen place desired amount in a Vitamix (or food processor) and plunge the cubes until blended (will have the consistency of soft serve ice cream). I then chose to scoop it out into a cup and put it in the freezer for 30 minutes to an hour. Makes 2 large servings.
Note: If you make your own nut milk, you could leave the leftover nut pieces in the ice cream; however, I wouldn’t do that if you are going for a completely smooth texture.

All of the moms in Jessica’s class were quite impressed (that just tells you how close it looked to real ice cream)! The reason I chose to use Safflower oil is because 1) It is one of the few oils Jessica can have 2) It does not have a strong flavor 3) It does not solidify in the refrigerator so it likely wouldn’t freeze as hard or at least not as quickly 4) Being an oil, it is emulsifiable meaning you can whip it to the point that it will develop a somewhat fluffy texture and 5) Fat is an important component of ice cream….hence why it is called ice CREAM! (You could substitute any other type of oil so long as it meets that criteria.) I realize that using a 1/4 cup of refined oil is probably not the most appetizing nor the most healthy of choices, BUT if you want to make your kid some ice cream so she doesn’t feel left out of the fun AND you can’t use dairy, eggs, coconut, banana, mango, soy, or any of the other vegan ice cream standbys…..this will do the trick and win you lots of smiles!!

In Honor of World Autism Awareness Day

In honor of World Autism Awareness Day, I would like to share with you a few of my favorite articles that have come across my Facebook newsfeed thus far this week. They all focus on sharing what families affected by Autism already know: 1) It’s very very expensive 2) It’s tough emotionally, especially on your relationships 3) Oftentimes kids with Autism are plagued by internal symptoms that go undiagnosed because there is no observable problem due to challenges with communication and sensory processing 4) You can read about, research, observe, etc Autism all you want, but the best source of information about Autism is from “the horses mouth” so to say and 5) Did I mention Autism is very very very expensive?!?!?

http://www.letschatautism.com/2012/11/08/8-facts-about-autism-the-media-is-not-covering/

http://specialneedshomeschooling.com/?p=3139

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/autism-families-fight-insurance-coverage-diagnosis-treatment/story?id=18856645#.UVuquVFx0xA

And to all of the Autism parents out there, let me just say “Keep up the good work! You are doing a GREAT job!!!!”

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People

Why does God let bad things happen to good people? It’s an age old question that I would like to argue is also a faulty question. First of all according to our question, God should be the one deciding what is bad and who is good. I think it is very safe to say that God does not view good and bad the same way we do. Let’s start with the second part: God loves ALL people because He created all people, and He created all people to be good. However, He also gave people free will and the opportunity to choose righteousness or evil. But what about bad things? God’s perspective is heavenly and eternal. Although He is Emmanuel, or God who is with us, and thus knows first-hand the pain associated with living this earthly life, He is also Adonai Elohim, or The LORD God, the Creator of the entire universe. It makes sense that His perception of what is bad might not be the same as ours.

Another similar question to “Why does God let bad things happen to good people?” is “Why did God answer his prayer and not her prayer?” Again I would like to argue that this is a faulty question. What is the purpose of prayer? Is it to let our requests be known to our God, the magic genie in a bottle who endeavors to make our lives easier? I think not. Why would God need us to ask for His help? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking God for things, and I am certain that He loves to hear from us. However, as our minister put it a few weeks back, “I don’t think prayer works like a rain dance. You do the right dance, and you get what you want.” How would that type of system lift us up? I think it is more likely that the purpose of prayer is for us to spend time communicating with our Father sharing our heart so that we can gain a more heavenly perspective on the things that hurt our hearts.

A similar question to “Why did God answer his prayer and not her prayer?” is “Why does God bless him and not me?” Again I think that is a faulty question. Is our definition of “bless” the same as God’s? Given that God’s perspective is heavenly and eternal, I seriously doubt that God is blessing you just because life is going the way you want it to. Can He bless you through those kinds of situations? Yes, absolutely! But, I would argue that He can also bless you through difficult situations because even though “bad things” happen to you, perhaps it is actually blessing you with the opportunity to learn more about who HE is! Or perhaps it will give someone else the opportunity to learn more about who HE is, and isn’t that the purpose of this whole thing we call life….to come to know, honor, and reflect the One who created this whole thing we call life?

God had to create us differently with different strengths and different weaknesses, with “good” situations and “bad” situations because it is through all of this diversity that God is truly able to show us the breadth and depth of who He really is!

As anyone might know who either knows me or has read this blog for very long, there are quite a few things about the last 5 years especially that we wish had been different. No one dreams of having cancer during your baby’s first Christmas. No one dreams of having a child (or two) with Autism and spending thousands and thousands of dollars every year on therapy and doctors. No one dreams of having a miscarriage….at any stage in the game! No one dreams of getting down to only 30 foods you can eat. No one dreams of having to have your child sedated for an MRI to determine if he has suffered brain damage. BUT, I wouldn’t change a thing! In spite of all these things that didn’t go like we’d planned, God has still blessed us by teaching us more about who He is!

When all of this started 5 years ago, I wasn’t sure I even believed in God anymore, and both of us were rather unmotivated to go to church. I prayed that IF God existed that He would do whatever He had to in order for me to KNOW that He existed because if there is a God then there is nothing more important! And that is the kind of prayer God loves to answer because that is what He is all about…..showing us who He is! There have been many other good things to come out of the last 5 years….my entire family pretty much has discovered that they have Celiac and that in and of itself has probably lengthened several lives and possibly prevented problems in my future nieces and nephews…..we have learned how to better help our children be the best them that they can be…..we have had the opportunity to learn what it is like to be special needs parents, to meet other special needs parents, and to have the opportunity to love on those families…..in general David and I are more humble and more compassionate than we were 5 years ago.

I also know that God used difficult situations, like my mom’s depression, while I was growing up to prepare me for what was ahead. Had Mom not been depressed, I never would have studied psychology, and I never would have dated David. My training and my husband have been the two greatest advantages that God has provided me with. My children very likely would have had problems irregardless of who I married because of my Celiac. Together, David and I have always made a great team. We work well together, and he is one of the most loyal, dedicated, hard-working men I know.

My parents used to say that Mom having depression was one of the best things that ever happened to our family. I used to think they were absolutely crazy, but it is true: it IS one of the best things that has ever happened to my family. Not only did it result in me studying psychology which has enabled me to better help my children, but it also taught us again about who God is and how to be more compassionate towards those that are hurting. It has also allowed several of us to be able to encourage other couples whose marriages are in danger of falling apart that YES they can work hard and with God rebuild their marriage. And it taught us how to let others minister to us and what a blessing it is to be able to minister to someone else.

There are many, many more stories just like those that I briefly mentioned, and it just goes to show you that sometimes “your blessings really do come through rain drops.”

Blessings

by Laura Story

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things’Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It’s not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Things are looking up!

We still can only have about 30 foods each (though symptoms have improved), and we are still hemorrhaging money paying out of pocket for speech, occupational, and physical therapy for John. BUT there are a lot of GOOD things going on at our house right now….lots to be thankful for!!!!

1) I WON a SteamVita unit!!!!!!!!!!! This is a stainless steel stacking steam cooking unit. I will be able to steam different foods in different compartments!!! Given that I often cook between 6 and 9 meals a day to accommodate for all of our food allergies, this will help A LOT!!!!!!!!!!

This is the SteamVita unit I will be expecting on my doorstep in a couple months!!!!

This is the SteamVita unit I will be expecting on my doorstep in a couple months!!!!

2) We paid so much in medical bills this last year that it looks like we don’t owe anything in taxes….as in we will get EVERYTHING they already took out back!!!!!!!!!!!! (You know how you have to have spent 7.5% of your taxable income on medical expenses to be able to deduct medical expenses? Yeah….David and I spent at least 21% of our taxable income on medical expenses last year….and that’s only the ones that I could find electronic receipts for because I didn’t realize I could deduct them until the end of the year!)

3) John is potty trained!!!!!!!!!!!! But only around the house…..while he can talk, he does not tell me when he needs to go, so going diaperless in public is not an option yet. The funny thing is that he feels the need to empty his potty IMMEDIATELY….so when he was in his room for rest time, he dumped it all over the carpet… David and I have fixed this problem by installing a 5 gallon bucket in his room for him to dump his potty into. Some days you just gotta “steer into the curve”…..

Latest addition to John's room

Latest addition to John’s room

*Speaking of excrement, I have a funny story on Jessica (there is no shortage of funny stories on my kids where excrement is concerned)! We came home from playing at the park with one of her new friends, and I said “Jessica why is your skirt tucked into your tights? You didn’t go to the bathroom.” She said, “Yes I did.” I said “No, you didn’t come get me to take you to the bathroom.” She said, “No. I went with my friend in the grass (this friend is a boy).” Obviously, my eyeballs about popped out of my head, but I pulled it together enough to not say anything and calmly ask her a couple questions a little later. Turns out she was the only one that had to go, and she did manage to do it by herself without any help. However, she did get a sad look on her face and say “But, I didn’t have any wipes!” I said, “Well, what did you do?” Then she got a big grin on her face and said, “I used my hand!!” I about died!!! The next week I told her friend’s mom what happened and apologized profusely!!! Thankfully, he has a very sweet mom who was very understanding! lol….the stories I have thanks to my children!

4) We discovered about a week ago that we can ALL eat venison. Unfortunately, it is the tail end of deer season (pun intended). I put out a request for venison to our friends, family, and church, and FREE venison has been pouring into our house! I think we might actually be able to make it to the next deer season after all, and it is really going to help my grocery budget (it’s VERY expensive to feed a child fish for almost every meal)!!!!! David also went and picked up a 24 cubic foot freezer we found on Craigslist for $125! It is an old one made of steel that still works great!!!!

That's a 1/4 grass fed beef for the boys, 4 deer (I think), and 16 pounds of unshelled nuts! I don't know how much venison it will take to feed our family until the next deer season, but I'd say we are at least well on our way! :-)

That’s a 1/4 grass fed beef for the boys, 4 deer (I think), 16 pounds of unshelled nuts, and plenty of room for more!!! I don’t know how much venison it will take to feed our family until the next deer season, but I’d say we are at least well on our way! :-)

5) I made up a soup for Jessica, AND she liked it!!!!!!! I used 1 quart of fish stock, spinach, chick peas, pulled venison, and about 1.5 teaspoons of salt! Also in food news, Jessica has been enjoying fermented lentil pancakes, and both of the kids are IN LOVE with water kefir!!!!!!!!

Jessica loving her soup!!!!

Jessica loving her soup!!!!

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And I have been enjoying oat tortillas with peanut butter and strawberry slices on them! Yum!!!! (The ratio for the tortillas is 2 parts GF oat flour and 1 pat water…part out and cook in a dry skillet on low heat)

6) We are famous (again)! 2nd time in a local paper in 7 months!

Our most recent article featured in the Health section of the Navarre Press!

Our most recent article featured in the Health section of the Navarre Press this week!

Our previous article on the front page of the Pensacola News Journal.

Our article from June of 2012 on the front page of the Pensacola News Journal!

And the second page of our article in the Pensacola News Journal!

And the second page of our article in the Pensacola News Journal!

7) I got a nibble on selling my bass trombone….that could be a $1,000 towards paying for the next round of medical expenses!!

8) After a year of searching, I think we are finally nearing the end of our search for a diagnosis for John….which means insurance would start applying all of our expenses towards our deductible (which we are getting closer to meeting….especially if all of those past therapies are counted)!!! It also means that we will be able to better help John because we will know WHAT the problem is!!!

I guess that last one requires a bit of an update…. This month John is seeing the following new professionals: a speech therapist, an opthamologist, an orthopedist, and a neurologist. (This is in addition to his regular appointments with his nutritionist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist.) He is still being evaluated for autism, but we still need to make sure nothing is wrong with his legs. Also, we are revisiting the idea of mild cerebral palsy.

Once I started adding up all of the things that are “not quite right,” it led us and his pediatrician to believe it is important to take a closer look at the possibility of cerebral palsy. John has fine motor delays, gross motor delays, speech delays (he drooled until just a few months ago, and while he can talk, he does not enunciate well and seems to only mimic phrases, though often in correct context), mild hearing loss (he’s only had one ear infection and there is no family history of congenital hearing loss), poor vision (He saw a really dark black guy in a bright purple shirt at the grocery store and kept saying “There’s Dad! There’s Dad!” Once the man passed, John said “That’s not Dad.”), his feet turn in, and two of his toes are beginning to curl outwards.

I had hoped that we would be done with all of the doctors’ visits and just be “working our plan” in 2013, but we aren’t and that’s ok. Here’s to having a diagnosis by sometime this summer!!